1. With graduation right around the corner, shouldn’t I be ecstatic? I’ve waited so long for this, but now I can’t help but to feel sad..
2. It fucking sucks to like someone so fucking much, when they’re too good for you, a horny-ass player that sleeps around, wears shit that doesn’t suit him 18% of the time, wears pajama-looking outfits the other 70% of the time, thinks (knows?) that they’re hot shit, and hits on a gazillion girls. you were suppose to be just eye candy, to keep school interesting and shit. but somehow i’ve fallen head over fucking heels for you. whenever I see you i feel like my heart will pop out of my chest. Making eye contact with you makes me feel like ice cream on cement heated by August heat and i feel like there will be no point in living when i no longer get to see you and would without a doubt give up my future, life, morals and values to be with you. cause i’m fucking INSANE.
3. before i was just shocked at wtf happened to you, and wanted/felt like it was a duty as a FRIEND to be there for you. now i’m just pissed off.. annoyed.. DISGUSTED. why the fuck would you even suggest this? you fucking high? go find someone else because i sure as FUCK won’t. now the thought of you or just seeing your face makes me feel disgusted. go away, our friendship is over.
4. where would I be right now if I had just chosen the alternative path? Would you still be around? would i be happy?
5. nervous as hell for college.. worse fear: getting kicked out. second worse fear: not being able to make friends, being forever alone in my dorm room everyday, eating everything in the dining hall and turning morbidly obese. also, sleeping in by accident and missing all classes… thus, resulting in my biggest fear becoming reality -_-
6. why are the dreams I have always so weird and messed up and depressing and just downright frightening?? are they supposed to mean something?
